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Safety Planning
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Women
who are abused usually feel sad, angry, and alone or even crazy.
They may blame themselves. But no one deserves to be battered.
Don’t listen to
anyone who tells you the abuse is your fault, the batterer is
the one with the problem.
You
have a right to be safe |
IF YOU
ARE STAYING FOR NOW…
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If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it
in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in the bathroom,
kitchen or anywhere near weapons.
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During attack protect your face, chest and abdomen.
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Take pictures of injuries.
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Practice getting out of your home safely. Identify
which door, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best.
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Teach your children how to use the telephone and
how to contact the police and the fire department.
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Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed
but accessible place in order to leave quickly. There is a checklist
below of things you need to take with you if you leave.
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Plan how to leave. Would it be by car, bus, taxi,
a ride from a friend or on foot? If it’s by car, have a spare
set of keys and keep gas in the tank at all times.
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Police stations, fire stations and hospitals are
always open. You can go there for immediate safety. Know where they
are and fastest way to get there.
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Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence
and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming
from your home.
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Devise a code word to use with your children, family,
friends and neighbors when you need the police.
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Decide and plan for where you will go if you have
to leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to).
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Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation
is very dangerous consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm
him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out
of danger.
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Get counseling or join support groups or social
activities.
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Do some reading on domestic violence.
IF YOU
ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING
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 Open
a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase
your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase
your independence.
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Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important
documents (see list below) and extra clothes with someone you trust
so you can leave quickly.
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Make a list of family and friends who could help
in an emergency. Ask what they would be willing to do (transportation,
shelter, money, etc.).
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Keep the safehouse phone number close at hand.
You are welcome to call a shelter as many times as you need. Their
concern is for your safety.
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Review your safety plan as often as possible in
order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
Leaving your batterer is the
most dangerous time
VIOLENCE IS AGAINST THE
LAW
If your partner hits you, report it to the police
as soon as you can.
The police can come to you or you can go to
them. They will talk to you in person and file a report.
If you have been injured they will take pictures
of your injuries.
They may arrest your partner.
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STAYING SAFE WHEN YOU LEAVE
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Get a protection order and keep it with you at
all times. This legal document orders the batterer to stay away
from you, your home and your children. The Mitchell Area Safehouse
can help you get one.
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Call the police if your partner breaks the protection
order.
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Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police
do not respond right away.
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Inform family, friends and neighbors that you have
a protection order in effect.
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Find out about agencies and programs that can help.
You can get help with food, shelter, clothes, medical care, completing
your education, job training and childcare. The Mitchell Area Safehouse
will help you with referrals and numbers to contact.
What you need to take with you when you leave
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Identification |
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Small saleable objects |
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Driver’s License |
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Address book |
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Children’s birth certificates |
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Medical records |
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Money |
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Social Security cards |
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Lease, rental agreement or house deed |
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Divorce papers |
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Checking or savings account books |
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School records and vaccination records |
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ATM card |
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Work permit, green card, passport |
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Credit Cards |
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Jewelry |
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Insurance papers |
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Pictures |
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House and car keys |
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Children’s small toys |
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Medications and prescriptions |
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SAFETY IN YOU OWN HOME
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Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible.
Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
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Purchase rope ladders to use for escape from second
floor windows.
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Install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers
for each floor of your home.
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Install outside motion detector lighting.
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Discuss a safety plan with your children for when
you are not with them.
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Inform your child’s school, daycare, etc.,
about who has permission to pick up your child.
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Inform neighbors and landlords that your partner
no longer lives with you and they should call the police if they
see him near your home.
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Never call the abuser from your home, if he as
Caller ID he may locate you.
SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC
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Decide who at work you will inform about your situation.
This should include office building security (provide a picture
if possible).
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Arrange to have someone screen your calls if possible.
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Devise a safety plan for you when you leave work.
Have someone escort you to your car. Use a variety of routes to
go home if possible. Think about what to do if something happened
while going home.
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Use different grocery stores, malls, banks, doctors,
etc. to conduct business and shop at hours that are different than
those you used when residing with you batterer.
YOUR SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HELATH
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If you are thinking of returning to a potentially
abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you
trust. Remember, things will not change in your relationship until
he gets SERIOUS professional help.
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If you have to communicate with your partner, determine
the safest method.
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Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive
with others about your needs.
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Read books, articles and poems to help you feel
stronger.
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Attend a women’s support group at least 2
weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself
and the relationship.
TALKING WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Children know that fighting is going on, even if you think they don’t.
Denying it or not talking about it upsets them even more.
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Talk to them and let them tell you how they feel.
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Tell them the fighting is not their fault.
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Tell them to stay out of the fighting.
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Talk about where they can hide inside
the home (closet, under the bed, in a room that has a lock on the
door).
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Talk about where they can hide outside
the home (garage, neighbors, friends).
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Talk about whom they can go to for help (grandparents,
other relatives, neighbor, friends and police).
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Teach older children how to call 911. Practice
what to say when they call. (Daddy is hitting Mommy. We live at….Hurry).
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Hotline: (605) 996-4440 