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Are You a Victim?

ARE YOU……. Frightened, at times, by your partner’s behavior? Afraid to disagree with your partner? Often apologizing for your partner’s behavior (especially when he has treated you badly)? Verbally degraded or put down by your partner? Discouraged from seeing your friends? Afraid to break up with your partner because he has threatened to hurt you or himself? DO YOU……. Feel like you must justify things you do or don’t do to avoid his anger? Avoid family or social situations because you are afraid of how your partner will act? HAVE YOU BEEN……. Hit, shoved, thrown down, choked, grabbed, had your hair pulled, had things thrown at you, etc.? Forced or talked into performing any sexual acts against your will? HAS YOUR PARTNER….. Threatened to take your children? Destroyed your property?

If you have answered YES to any of these questions, it is time to check your relationship. There are places you can go for help and support. Perhaps you are now out of a violent relationship, but still dealing with pain. Regardless, you can call the Mitchell Area Safehouse, we can help.

24-HOUR HOTLINE
605-996-4440
1-888-996-8909

He says he loves me "Either dinner wasn’t exactly what he wanted, the house wasn’t immaculate, I didn’t look presentable enough… any excuse at all, really… and it was always my fault.” “It was very debilitating, I ended up walking on eggshells. I began questioning my own competence to do anything.”

You can't change your partner's behavior!

You can not stop your partner's violence toward you. Your partner is in control of his or her own actions just as you are in control of yours.

Without intervention, family violence becomes more frequent and severe.

It's not about you! The choice to abuse lies with the abuser.

You can go to counseling, you can do whatever it takes to try to make things better--but it takes TWO people to make a relationship work.

It only gives the abuser license to strike again. If the abuser suffers no consequences, they have no reason to stop.

"My partner didn't really mean it...this time, officer!" If the abuser doesn't really want to change the behavior, it doesn't matter how much they beg or plead to avoid going to jail. THE ABUSER WILL DO OR SAY ANYTHING TO AVOID FACING THE CONSEQUENCES!

Violence is NOT an appropriate or helpful response to another person's actions or words.
But, remember...if you are in extreme fear for your life...you have the right to defend yourself!

Remember... If domestic violence has made you angry, this is good! Your well-directed anger at this mistreatment is an acknowledgement of your own self worth.

• The right to share equally with your partner all decisions and responsibilities related to your relationship, children, home and finances.
    
• The right to share equally with your partner in all financial decisions.
    
• The right to have friendships with both women and men outside of your relationship as long as you do not violate the privacy of your relationship with your partner.
    
• The right to express your opinions and have them given the same respect and consideration as those of your partner.
    
• The right to have and express your sexual needs and desires without feeling you are selfish, demanding or aggressive.
    
• The right to have your emotional, physical and intellectual needs be as important as the needs of your partner.
    
• The right to expect your partner to give at least 50% to resolve difficulties in your relationship.